Limbo

Perched on the precipice of a new life but unable to move forward, we linger in limbo.

We’ve packed up our lives into boxes, and with a single suitcase, flown half way around the world to an island that barely appears as a speck on the map. Mauritius is an evolving nation. A developing country more on the ‘developed’ side, but still confused in its chaos. It widely advertises a desire to bring in foreign investment, and here we are, foreign and invested, and caught up in an endless rope-course of red tape and bureaucracy.

It is our fourth week here, and what the next months of our lives hold is shrouded in the mysteries of Mauritian bureaucracy. Its possible everything will be approved, and then we will begin the next series of complicated steps, each with their own elaborate procedures, to set up the business, earn an income, find a home and begin our Mauritian life. Or we may, for an indefinite period of time, continue to hit roadblocks that send us spinning off into new directions, with no idea where they will take us. In three months time, we could be living anywhere, doing anything…

So the present exists in a kind of haze, obscuring the future just a breath ahead. Thick fog can create a feeling of claustrophobia, crowding in and trapping you where you are. Its concealment raises anxiety, unable to penetrate it and prepare for what might happen next. It’s disorientating, blocking up from down, never knowing if feet are grounded or have lifted off and one step will send you plummeting.

Yet…

Yet the present is a sky bright and blue, the early morning sun clear and cool, and around me the banana tree leaves wave in the gentle breeze. Life is unpredictable, but the unpredictable has spoiled me with abundance. These are luscious days of sea and salt, yoga and the man I love. This twist of fate see’s me unable to work, but life is cheap, I have savings, and now I spend my days swimming, diving, and working my way through Russian literature.

I whisper secret thanks to Grace, for life’s unpredictability. Its mysterious turns have curled into this beautiful present, and its deliciousness is sweet on the skin.